Videoclip de Richard Dawkins

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Richard Dawkins as MC: Ladies and gentleman, we are on the cusp of a glorious age. The age of the machine.

Crowd gasps at sight of machine.

Richard Dawkins: We appreciate your concern. It is noted, and stupid. After all, we are scientists; much, much smarter than you. But perhaps, a little demonstration will set your minds at ease.

Fades to laboratory.

A Scientist peering into a microscope: Hey, Wallace, take a look at this.
Darwinist pops up from behind lab bench, looks into microscope: Big deal. Natural selection creates that sort of thing every day.
Scientist, as Darwinist walks away: Natural selection? I think there is something else going on here.
Darwinist furtively radios back to PT-mafia: Big gadget, little tool. We’ve got ourself a situation.

The Machine busts through laboratory wall, snatches first scientist with lobster like claw, and throws him from an university tower after stamping “Expelled” on his head. The Expelled scientist’s head crashes into and cracks lens for effect.

Fade to Richard Dawkins as MC: I wish I could take full credit for the machine’s development. For its efficient expulsion of so-called scientists, its unwavering rejection of your quaint but ludicrous notions about the origins of life. But the story of the machine began well before I arrived on the scene. For that, we present this little diddy:

Richard Dawkins snaps his finger, and is transformed into Eminem

Richard Dawkins, with PZ Myers providing backup: My name is D to the I to C to the K, Yeah I’m the Dickie D, I gots my Ph.D. and coming your way on the Youtube to bust your world view so just listen to me and don’t you argue.

You see, this battle’s been raging since Zeus was on the bottle, between Science like Democritus and Faith like Aristotle, who said the mover was unmoving like some magic trick but that’s no good logic, my posse is far too quick for this religious shtick.

[Be]cause science is the only way to know y’all, you stand with me y’all, or you can fall y’all So go ahead and take your pick…

Eugenie Scott: Yeah you tell him Rick …
Charles Darwin: [Be]cause if you don’t know me …

Richard Dawkins: You don’t know dick!!!

PZ Myers leading the chorus : Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!

Unknown: On the shoulders of midgets we built up this machine,
Daniel Dennett: Yeah!!!

Richard Dawkins: Science silenced that watchdog wingnut Paley [1] growing stronger and harder almost daily, storming Wilber by force[2] as we framed the discourse that faith and science are split in schismatic divorce.

Then Darwin took to the seas to see what no one had seen, and ever since then we’ve been increasingly keen, they may never adore us, but they’ll no longer ignore us, give it to them PZ hit these [BLEEPED] with the chorus!!!

Chorus: Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
The Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!

Richard Dawkins: Then there was Darrow dukin’ it out with the straight and the narrow,
a raging bull in the ring, he did his thing, and took it on the chin like he was Bobby De Niro.

We might have lost at Scopes, beaten down by the dopes, and the stooges of popes, but in losin’ we coped, becoming more than we hoped, creationists slipped on the soap[3] of their own slippery slope.

What was impossible, improbable, is now wholly unstoppable untoppleable, the Dick Doc’ll roll up as you creationists foldup

you haters talkin’ bull, don’t you know that this Dick is un-cock-frickin’ blockable …

Chorus: Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
The Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!

Richard Dawkins: Now the machine of our making, sees culture ripe for the taking,

[Be]cause I’m the rappinest, rabidest atheist who unlike the Catholic, Muslim or even the Jew, believes that no God but science could ever be true, hell if I was dyslexic I’d even hate Dog too.[4]

Time to open your eyes, get yourself wise, the age of science will rise to be religion’s demise, and while you churchies all cry, shouting “why God oh why,” I’ll still be popping my collar earning more dollars than Allah.

Hollah!

Chorus: Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
The Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!

Chorus : Yeah he’s the Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s smarter than you he’s got a science degree!
The Dick to the Dawk to the Ph.D.,
he’s still smarter than you he studied biology!

^[1] William Paley (1743-1805) was a Christian apologist best known for popularizing the Watchmaker analogy.
^[2]Bishop of Oxford Samual Wilberforce debated Darwin’s Bulldog T.H. Huxley.
^[3]Possible reference to Bishop Samual Wilberforce, who was derisively referred to as “soapy Sam” by Darwinists.
^[4]Richard Dawkins’ philosophy can be condensed down to: 1. God does not exist. 2. I hate God.

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